Today when my class was ending, one of the students' moms came by to talk to my teacher. Her daughter, Cecil, is quite the charmer on the surface--she gave me a present on my first day, she's always grabbing for my hands, and, I've been told by the teacher, she tries her hardest to make friends with all the other little kids when she first meets them. As I've come to know in only a week and a half though, Cecil is a renowned mischief-maker. There's never a day that goes by when she doesn't make up lies to get the other kids in trouble, cry to get her way, or whisper gossip in my ear about the other students (I can't really understand it, but I try..).
I had met Cecil's mom one time before, but I didn't know much about her until today. We had time for a brief conversation before she and the teacher had to meet, and I was able to find out quickly that she is 22 years old, single, and, understandably, overwhelmed. When I asked if she wanted more kids, she said, "No, no. I'm too young. Now is not the time. Maybe when I'm 30...or maybe just no more," almost with a sad look on her face. It was so strange to sit there and look at her, only 3 years older than I am, and imagine how I might feel right now if I had a 3-year-old daughter--and not just any daughter, but a daughter who was continually acting up. I don't know if I was supposed to be listening to her and my teacher's conversation that followed, but I couldn't suppress my curiosity as I sat nearby cutting shapes out of construction paper, so I tried my hardest to decipher the Spanish that I heard.
Cecil's mom was going on and on about how she didn't know how to deal with Cecil. She couldn't figure out how to teach her to respect other children, how to respond to her crying, or how to enforce discipline at all. She seemed like she was about to cry as my teacher just kept telling her that she had to take it day by day. I think all those days were stretching out before her like a path she had little desire to travel down..
It seems like people often think of the schools here as a sort of carefree place where children, who might not have the best family environment, can go to learn and grow in a safe and encouraging place. These little kids seem to be so, SO happy at school, regardless of what may or may not be going on at home (I'm still trying to learn more about my kids' families). But I had never thought of the reverse situation as also being true...I think that, for Cecil's mom, sending Cecil to school, where there is a Nina (that's what the kids call the teacher) who is so patient and practiced and good at what she does, might be a sort of daily relief from a life she was almost thrown into.
Now I know nobody is making 16-old-girls go get pregnant, but, we've been talking the past couple of days in our afternoon Spanish classes about gender roles and the education system in Costa Rica, and it seems like, for many girls here, young motherhood is the likely choice. In Costa Rica, and especially in Puriscal, which is apparently considered a very rural town, the women don't seem to get much talk about being in any way independent or taking their own initiative. Our Spanish teacher told us yesterday that many girls in the low socioeconomic classes start taking on mother-like responsibilities at a young age, so, by the time they are teens and find themselves with little to do but get pregnant, motherhood (and a whole life of motherhood..) often just happens. The girls go to school--that's not the problem. It's just that no one is here to tell them the value of their education, or that it's possible to prolong getting pregnant, or that, with some determination and planning, they could actually have a career and a family. They don't necessarily choose the pregnancy, but, once it happens, they just kind of accept it, letting any other ambitions they might have had get discouraged in the process.
Then the country is left with people like Cecil's mom who are too inexperienced and overwhelmed to teach their children how to be nice. And if the moms can't even teach the kids proper social habits, who is going to teach the kids to take advantage of their talents, or their education? And who is going to teach them that they might have the opportunity to do something more? I guess, in the big picture, that would be where the teachers and the volunteers and the more educated or successful Costa Ricans come in. But that's so much pressure, and such a big change...and I don't reallly even know why I'm going on and on about this..
I guess I've just been thinking about what I can do here, but I don't think that thinking about this kind of stuff is going to make me feel productive. I think, like my teacher told Cecil's mom, I just have to take it day by day. I'm obviously not going to incite any big changes in my month-long stay, especially not when most of my day is spent playing games with 6-year-olds. So I think all I can do is to be nice to the kids and let them know they are loved...and I can hope that me acting as a positive role model might help to lighten the parents' loads.
The whole school environment here is like a big family, with the teachers serving as the mothers to hundreds of rowdy kids. It looks disordered from the outside, but we're learning that it's really just a type of order that stems from different values. They aren't as focused on rules as we are...they're focused more on the social environment, the group dynamic. The little kids call the teacher "Nina" and she responds with "Si, mi amor". Teachers and students, and students and other students, greet each other with kisses and hugs. They all run in and out all day hugging each other. I've never seen so many hugs. And while it seemed strange at first, I think it's just what the kids need. AND I think that nobody knows that better than my teacher. I'm still obsessed with her. The fact that she's such a good mother figure to the kindergarten kids, to her own kids, to the kids' mothers, and to the kids not even in her class...I just don't even know!
On a different note entirely--We took a field trip to the University of Peace this afternoon. It's a school that was started by the UN, and I'm going to try to write about it tomorrow because it was pretty interesting. Also, we just started an intense puzzle and it was literally painful to pull ourselves away to go to bed because we've become slightly addicted to it. And, I accidentally just made hot chocolate with the sink water and drank it. The sink water is creepily cloudy and unsafe to drink. No wonder the hot chocolate tasted nasty. Ew.
aaand I think that's it for now. Sorry...sometimes I ramble. Ciao! (that's what everyone says here)
:)
Oh--and a picture of some of the kids! Meet Avril, Maria Jose, half of Antony, Jose, and half of Juan Carlos..
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